Medically Reviewed By Eva Shepard, MLADC, LCMHC
Families and loved ones can be an essential support system throughout addiction treatment. That said, there are often a lot of mixed messages and uncertainty that people face when considering how they can support their loved one during treatment. SUD (substance use disorder) and alcohol addiction require compassionate care that relies on proven therapeutic treatment.
Throughout this care, family members or other loved ones can play an integral role in providing social support. This is why it is essential to make sure that those individuals also have support in place. No one is born with innate knowledge of how to help someone navigate their recovery journey, and it is often overwhelming at first.
Moreover, there are many myths about what family and friends’ roles should be in addiction treatment. This can create uncertainty, which leads many to avoid taking an active role in supporting their loved one out of a fear that they might be doing something wrong. The truth is, everyone is unique, which is why the best treatment centers adapt their therapies and programming to an individual’s specific needs. And in the same vein, supporting a loved one can look very different from one family to another. The most important thing is to get guidance, education, and support.
In this guide, we will cover a few ways family and friends can help support their loved ones during addiction treatment. For resources in New Hampshire, please feel free to contact our team here at Mountain View Retreat.
Get Educated About Addiction & Addiction Treatment
One of the most important steps someone can take when supporting a loved one is to get educated. Addiction is complex, treatment is often tailored to the needs of the individual, and support needs to come from a place of understanding. Moreover, the person going through addiction treatment should not be expected to take on the burden of educating their family on the topic. By getting educated yourself, you can help them from a place of understanding.
We recommend that family members read up on substance use disorder, learn about common symptoms, and explore the different treatment stages. These are all good ways to become knowledgeable on the subject so that you can speak the same language as your loved one and the people they are working with throughout their addiction treatment.
While your goal is not to become a resource for the person going through treatment, since they will be working with licensed professionals, getting educated can help you make the right decisions. Moreover, it makes it easier to communicate with your loved one, check in on them, and show that you are walking alongside them throughout the process. In many cases, just the effort of getting educated can show someone how much you care about them and their progress.
Avoid Common Myths About Addiction Treatment
Addiction treatment looks very different from person to person. For many people, home life can be a stressor or a trigger, and they seek inpatient care to get a break from that environment. But that is not true for everyone, and assuming that family is a barrier to successful treatment is not correct.
Sometimes terms like “codependency” are thrown around and create this myth that separation from family is essential to addiction treatment. This can be very discouraging to loving family members and friends who want to help. They can feel as if avoiding their loved one is the best way to help, even when it’s not. While there are real cases where codependency is a concern, family members and friends should never assume that they shouldn’t be there to be supportive throughout addiction treatment.
Similarly, the concept of “tough love” is often used to justify pushing an individual away from their family/home for “their own good”. This is a reductive view of addiction treatment. Each individual has their own needs. Family and friends should not assume that they should act one way or another based on these myths, but should seek out guidance from licensed professionals. Additionally, people’s needs shift and change throughout treatment. For example, someone may transition toward PHP/IOP (partial hospitalization program or intensive outpatient program), which may involve returning home. A strong, encouraging, loving support system at home can help people stay on track as they continue their treatment.
Setting Boundaries without Ultimatums
Family and friends still need to consider their own health and well-being when supporting others. It is important to set healthy boundaries and stick with them. That said, boundaries should never be about “punishing” or trying to control the person you are supporting. A healthy boundary can involve refusing to lie for someone, because you are not comfortable with that.
The goal of setting boundaries is to ensure your own well-being while also encouraging accountability and mutual respect/trust. By contrast, demands or ultimatums are often not recommended. Trying to force change in someone by threatening them is often not beneficial to their recovery.
Recommend Professional Help & Addiction Treatment Support
One of the most powerful things a family member or friend can do is encourage their loved one to seek out professional help. While a family member can be very supportive, they cannot replace the training, education, and resources that professional addiction treatment centers have. These recommendations should come from a place of support. Offering to help research local options can be a great first step. If someone is saying that they are considering getting professional help but are struggling to take that first step, you can show your support by helping them with those early stages.
Seeking treatment can be overwhelming and unfamiliar. Offering to go with someone or driving them to the facility can really help someone take that first step toward recovery. While you should never feel the need to push or create ultimatums, it can be extremely beneficial to help someone do the research, find a facility that offers what they need, and offer to be there when they need it.
You Can Also Get Support
It is common for people who are trying to support family members or friends to feel isolated and out of their depth. But there are resources for supporters, just like there are resources for people going through addiction treatment. Support groups exist for family and friends, so people can share experiences, offer emotional support, and provide practical advice. You do not need to support a loved one on your own. Getting support can help you feel more confident in the help you provide and help your loved one get the help they need. The recovery process is a long journey that looks a little different for everyone. It requires patience and an understanding that sometimes there are setbacks. Managing your expectations and staying connected to supportive resources can help you navigate through a loved one’s treatment.
Addiction Treatment & Recovery Resources in New Hampshire
Mountain View Retreat provides addiction treatment programming at our facility in Marlborough, New Hampshire. We use evidence-based therapies and treatment. We are also a resource for individuals considering addiction treatment for themselves, or for family and friends who have questions about addiction treatment. Feel free to contact our team for more information.